Top Secret Report Concerning Birch Rock Campers on “Turnover Day”- July 24th Blog

Below is top secret information concerning the illicit “Turnover Day:” illegal federally as well as in 49 states… except for Maine. Brace yourself for shocking details of camper diversion, happiness, and even elation.

8:00:00 AM- Late wake up

9:20:00 AM- First session campers leave

9:30:00 AM- Full session campers report to the basketball court

  1. Each camper required to bring four items
    1. Water bottle
    2. Bathing suit
    3. Towel
    4. Pine cone
  2. *General confusion amongst the campers on the necessity of the Maine state flower*

9:45:00 AM- Full session campers depart for “Turnover Day”

  1. Campers disperse among three vans
    1. Two white vans
    2. One black van

9:45:01 AM

  1. Sounds of loud music reported including:
    1. “good 4 u” by Olivia Rodrigo
    2. A slew of sea shanties
  2. A lot of Taylor Swift

10:00:00 AM

  1. Arrival at Poland Spring Resort
  2. Campers rush to the limited amount of frisbee golf frisbees
  3. The rest grab clubs for mini golf

10:30:00 AM

  1. Golf clubs acquired for the driving range
  2. Campers rush to the limited amount of clubs
  3. Campers surprisingly good at golf

12:00:00

  1. Pizza arrives
  2. The verdict: delicious

1:30:00

  1. Vans depart for next stop

1:35:00

  1. Time for ice cream
  2. Popular flavors
    1. Vanilla soft serve
    2. Chocolate
    3. Apple Pie
    4. Vanilla soft serve with a ginger twist
  3. *the ginger was surprisingly delicious*
  4. “*Very gingery*”

2:00:00

  1. Campers depart for one last stop

2:30:00

  1. Campers arrive at the Whichards
  2. All apply sunscreen liberally.

2:31:00

  1. Volleyball begins as well as basketball and swinging on the swingset

2:32:00

  1. Campers run into the water to cool off

4:40:00

  1. Campers depart

4:45:00

  1. “Ten minutes to rest period”
  2. Reported to be “a much needed rest period after a long day”

6:00:00- Dinner

  1. Burgers and hotdogs
    1. Condiments
    2. Ketchup
    3. Relish
    4. Pete’s special sauce
      1. Ingredients: Yet to be discovered

7:00:00- It’s Saturday night which means it’s Campfire.”

  1. 100% improv
  2. Improv exercises include
    1. Human Machine
    2. Rap battle
    3. Presentation about mining for ketchup?

8:15:00- 15 minutes to lights out

8:15:05- Oh wait

8:15:07- Movie night

8:30:00- Heavyweights (1995) begins

10:00:00- Lights out

Thus concludes our report on Birch Rock Camp on the 24th of July 2021. The shocking and gruesome images are unacceptable and must be stopped.

Written by Gus Tringale

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