Posted by: Birch Rock Camp

The winter before my son’s first summer away, we started looking at summer camps. I had a stack of brochures on the kitchen table and a lot of them started to blur together. Looking back, I realized I almost made a few decisions I would have regretted. Here’s what I got wrong along the way, in case it helps another parent skip a step or two!

1. Chasing the Activity List

I started with a spreadsheet and would check off the different activities each camp offered, like sailing or archery. Rock climbing wall was given extra points! I was basically picking a camp the way you’d option out a car. Then I talked to another mom whose son had already done two summers at Birch Rock, and what she said changed the way I was looking at the camp options and activities. The activities are just the container. What you’re actually picking is who your son is going to be around for eight weeks and what’s expected of him while he’s there.

So, instead of asking what a camp offered, I started asking what it valued.

When I actually read through Birch Rock’s programs, the activities were still there, sailing and woodworking and the rest of it, but that wasn’t really the point being made. The point was that kids learn to pull their weight in a cabin and look out for each other. My son was going to remember his cabinmates and the life lessons he learned, more than which archery target he hit.

2. Choosing the Camp Everyone Else Chose

There is one camp that most of our neighbors send their sons to. I almost went along with that without stopping to ask a pretty basic question. Was that camp actually a good fit for my kid, or just a good fit for theirs? I had to remind myself that what worked for her son wasn’t automatically going to work for mine, or what matters most for them in a camp might not be what matters most to me or my son.

3. Underestimating the First Week

The first week is important, and different camps handle it differently. I figured homesickness was just something kids worked through on their own. When I finally asked how staff handle a boy’s first rough night away from home, I got a really comforting answer instead of a vague one. Counselors are trained for it specifically. There’s a health team on-site at all times, and I was able to understand exactly who was keeping an eye on him and how. That one question told me more about the camp than anything on the activity list did.

4. Weighing the Drive More Than the Fit

For a while, distance was a bigger factor in my decision than it should have been.

A camp four hours away felt like a much bigger commitment than one forty minutes from home, even though I knew, underneath that thinking, that eight weeks in the right place mattered more than an extra few hours in the car.

Another parent talked me out of it. She’d been driving in from three states away for years and never regretted it once. My son needed a place that felt different from home.

5. Not Asking About Ratios and Staff

This is probably the one that embarrasses me the most. I got all the way to a shortlist before it occurred to me to ask how many boys were assigned to each counselor, or how experienced the staff actually were.

It’s not a question that shows up in a photo, but it’s the difference between a counselor who notices your son is having an off day and one who’s stretched too thin to catch it.

Once I asked, I found out Birch Rock keeps that ratio tight, tight enough that a homesick nine-year-old gets noticed before a rough hour turns into a rough week. That one detail settled my nerves significantly.

What I’d Tell a Parent Starting Now

If I could go back to that kitchen table, I’d tell myself to skip the spreadsheet and start with the harder questions instead. Ask about the ratio. Ask how they handle that first homesick night. Ask what kind of kid actually does well there, and be honest with yourself about whether that’s your son.

My younger one is starting as a Cub next summer, and I already know I’m not making that spreadsheet again!

You know your son better than any brochure does. If a question feels small but keeps nagging at you, ask it anyway. Those are usually the ones that matter most.

Do you have questions?

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